Tuesday, June 08, 2004

I find myself at a very dry period in my prayer life. But this is nothing new. When I went on short term disability for my surgery, my daily prayer suffered. It was not too bad while I was in the hospital, but when I arrived home to convalesce I had nothing difficulty in my daily prayer (Liturgy of the Hours) .

However, I remember St. John of the Cross's words when one finds oneself in such a situation. He said that above all never to neglect mental prayer. And that is what I do. I say little prayers from the heart. I look at the Sacred Heart and the Divine Mercy with tenderness. I also include the Blessed Mother's picture that rests on the far wall across from my bed. I make numerous Spiritual Communions, and unite my prayer with that of the Sacrifice of the Cross.

I often remember my dear Elisabeth Leseur and her struggle to remain true to her daily prayer life. Whereas she had to do everything in secret, my love for God is no mystery to my family. But that is where the disimilarities end. I feel much constrained, as she herself did, in an unbelieving world. To even mention the topic of God or Jesus invites stares of indifference or sometimes outright hostility. And this may often come from my own family.

A practicing Catholic, much less a practicing Contemplative, is little understood by society. Most of society cannot understand the attraction, but to the eyes of a Believer, the Word that was made flesh is everywhere. He is in the morning and the evening. He is in the work that we do, and our slumber at night. He is in our thoughts and in our actions, and He is in everyone that we meet. Even those who are most hostile to Himself. That is the trick. Finding Christ in everyone we meet. To love as He Himself loved. To love even the helpless, the hopless, and the loveless. Resist to love. That is what the Believer of today must do. We were not given a choice in this by the Beloved. He commanded that if we are true Believers we will do as He did ... even to point of dying on the cross. There is much food for thought in this.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Purchased the CD One Truth, by Omar Faruk Tekbilek today. It is absolutely gorgeous. I was introduced to this Turkish performer many years ago by my sister when she gave me his album entitled Whirling. He blends middle eastern sounds and Sufism (Islamic Mysticism), and as he states, his performances are like prayers. As I am drawn to the mystics of Catholocism (Carmelites), I sense the same search in Mr. Tekbilek's music.